Two Poems By Robert Pegel

                                                             Reluctant Surrender 

Anguish is too high
a price to pay
to learn
the shortcut to God.
Pain that leads
to surrender,
on the path
to a land of grace.

Still a long way from happy
but going around
in circles
is dizzying.
Must be another way.

Now there is hope.
A newfound way
to cope.
At attention
listening to the mystery
every day.

Can no longer live
in the sadness.
Try to stay steady,
ignore the negative voices
in my head.

Carry on.
Life is nothing
one big challenge
                                                           Faith and the Phantom 

Death is a visitor appearing in the dark.
Channeled from a forest brimming with trees.
It takes what it came for,
leaving lasting tears and
fears behind.
Measuring my faith.
Will it be the lasting kind?

Moving mountains,
mustard seeds scattered about in the windy field.
So alone in my vanquished mind.
Thoughts enter and depart nightly
until sleep resets the clock on the madness.

Passing this way how many times.
Waiting for a clue to be revealed.
Searching for a trance to put grief in its place.

Water runs from the mountain.
The river rises causing a flood.
Leaving those left hopelessly
suffering in its wake.
Who will find dry land?
A refuge to hope and understand.

Can nothing undo the damage done?
Living is so hard
in this human form.
Birth to death,
and everything in between.

Robert Pegel is a husband and father whose only child, his son Calvin, died four years ago. Calvin was 16 and died of unknown causes in his sleep. Robert writes poetry to address his feelings and thoughts in dealing with all things unimaginable. Robert graduated from Columbia University where he majored in English. He has been published in Trouvaille Review, Ariel Chart, Bluepepper, Down in the Dirt and Unique Poetry. He has work upcoming in Adelaide.

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