Shit, I’m Jealous
Shit! I’m jealous. I can’t show
my needled cheekbones, pacing plea.
I’m saying yes; I’m saying no.
Dead-cradled in my hips she’ll grow
a parasite to needless me.
She’s Jealousy. I start to show.
No suction-suck can yank her low,
no wire for coats can guarantee.
I’m screaming yes; I’m seething no.
I want to slither back below
to apathy, virginity!
(But shit, I’m jealous. Don’t it show?)
The hymen of my heart-gate, though
is split. Damn vulnerability!
I’m done with yes; I’m whining no.
In love is great. But this? Hell-o!
In love becomes insanity!
So jealous. Shit. And it will show.
I can’t say yes to what I know.
Dust and Ice
The dusty books pile up in dusty days.
Too much is set aside and left undone.
Time’s ribbons wrap around my graying mind
And, tightening, undermine the thoughts inside.
So I am lost with static missions dead,
Held open underneath the future’s edge.
Intensify my dreams, these wandering sparks,
And I’ll unveil my secret truth and lie
Awake inside this endless, tortured time
Awaiting choice and promise from your hand.
But sleep awhile in sighs of poppies’ breath
And I will murmur mystic lullabies
To leave you here, suspended in the ice
Of childhood’s quiet nights and lazy days.
But I’m awake, alert, alarmed, aware…
Tomorrow, kid, we sleep, we sigh, we die.
I whisper like water; my skin’s getting thin.
Love’s ice cubes are melting; my skin’s spreading thin.
I seep into nothing, my pigments erased.
My eyes are transparent; my skin’s clear, so thin.
My eyelids are moths’ wings. My lips are coarse silk.
Do you even see me? My skin’s torn and thin.
My spun-sugar spider-white fingers spread wide
as clear as the frost. My skin glimmers thin.
You move past my outline: a pressed Pearlwort,
an ethereal snare with skin parchment-thin.
Becky Nicole James earned her MFA in Creative Writing from Queens University. Her poetry, fiction, and nonfiction have appeared in many publications including Margie, Birmingham Arts Journal, and Moon City Review, and she writes for the International Bipolar Foundation. A former English professor, Becky is a reader for the magazine Metaphorosis. Follow her on Twitter @beckynjames.